Written Sunday, March 18th
The last week and a half I have taken a mental vacation from blogging and the world as much as I could. I have had to deal with my heartache. I have taken the time to talk to several individuals in order to help me sort things out and try to decide how to handle my current situation that will allow me to cling to my values and faith, but deal with this crushing blow, which has left me heartbroken.
This week has not been easy. I have struggled to get out of bed each day and then muddled through the day just waiting for the opportunity to allow my head to hit the pillow once again. This isn’t easy to write, because with what I have already been through in life, I feel like I should be able to take this in stride. But I have not been able to do so.
My dilemma is this: how do you love someone with all of your heart, watch them suffer, and wait for a miracle without your heart breaking every day? My hands are tied. There is nothing I can do, but sit back and wait for a literal miracle. At the beginning of this weekend and even today, I thought I was no where near an answer. But amazing things have happened, as well as a change in my heart.
This weekend God has spoken through many people in my life: counselors, pastors, friends, acquaintances. And the plan is as simple as this: SWITCH MY FOCUS. Instead of dwelling on my heartache and my questionable future, I need to focus on God’s calling which is before me. I am a lucky one. I have a very clear vision and purpose that God has put in my life and it is ready to explode… all I need to do is follow and listen. I must focus on the task before me and as I do that, I NEED TO TRUST GOD to handle the rest.
I have been through enough trials in my life to KNOW that God will provide for me. He has healed me time and again, made me stronger than I could ever imagine, and He has laid a path for me to follow. I am so humbled to walk by His grace and I’m amazed by His glory the entire time. So why wouldn’t He handle this? Why don’t I just lay it down at His feet and trust Him? He has never let me down before. And well I wait, I know God has a miraculous journey waiting for me… all I need to do is FOCUS!
Is this what you need to do too? Switch your focus? Take this bold step with me today. We can’t even begin to imagine the joy and riches that the Lord has waiting for us. For our God is a good, loving, and great God!
Songs: First by Lauren Daigle
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6