Why Me?

why-meNow this is the ultimate question for survivors of abuse?  A question for which we will never have an answer.  A question that haunts us.  A question that lingers in the air right above our heads… always in reach.  A question that we just have to find a peace with.

I have yet to meet the survivor that knows the answer to this question for herself.  And I have yet to meet the survivor who hasn’t struggled with this question.  I am not even sure that I can tell you my answer that finally gave me some peace.

I know I was a replacement wife for my dad since my mom is bipolar.  I know that my dad had a decent life growing up.  I’ve been told by my uncle that my dad was odd even when he was young… always a loner. But none of that answers the question of what would bring my dad to do such a thing and why me.

To be honest, I am not sure where my peace comes from… other than to say it is a blessing from God.  I don’t know when the switch flipped.  I don’t know what brought it about. I could help so many if I had those answers. But what I can say is pray.  Believe that God will bring you peace.  Ask for the strength to let it go.  It can and will happen.  I am proof and I thank God for that every day.

Song: “Fly” by Maddie and Tae

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Phil 4:7

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