Now this is the ultimate question for survivors of abuse? A question for which we will never have an answer. A question that haunts us. A question that lingers in the air right above our heads… always in reach. A question that we just have to find a peace with.
I have yet to meet the survivor that knows the answer to this question for herself. And I have yet to meet the survivor who hasn’t struggled with this question. I am not even sure that I can tell you my answer that finally gave me some peace.
I know I was a replacement wife for my dad since my mom is bipolar. I know that my dad had a decent life growing up. I’ve been told by my uncle that my dad was odd even when he was young… always a loner. But none of that answers the question of what would bring my dad to do such a thing and why me.
To be honest, I am not sure where my peace comes from… other than to say it is a blessing from God. I don’t know when the switch flipped. I don’t know what brought it about. I could help so many if I had those answers. But what I can say is pray. Believe that God will bring you peace. Ask for the strength to let it go. It can and will happen. I am proof and I thank God for that every day.
Song: “Fly” by Maddie and Tae
“7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Phil 4:7